I Must Be a Double Naught Spy!

I'm tellin' you, people.  I must be a Double Naught Spy!  I'm getting friend requests from more beautiful women than you can shake a stick at!  They all want to be my wife, sometimes the first time we chat!  I must really have a way with the ladies!

Thay mostly come from the U-nited States but one a them is from Damascus, Syria.  She's in a Christian refugee camp and she only needs $2400.00 to come and be my wife forever!

She might be the real deal though because she showed me a picture of her baby.

Most a them just want $500.00 for a plane ticket to see me or a gift card so they can talk to me better.  A couple of them have broken cell phones and want me to buy them a new one.  What I can't figger out is how they took a picture of their broken cell phone if they had no other way to talk to me?  Them women is hard ta figger out sometimes.

I don't know how I could be so lucky to git so many beauties to want ta marry me all at once like this, but it's a really head-scratchin' sitiation.  All of 'em is as sweet as candy and American as apple pie.  They don't have no good Grammer like me, though.  I guess you kain't expect everyone to be as good as schoolin' like me.  I done gragiated the sixth grade so you know I'm smart!

I reckon if I have to choose just one, since I'm not a Muslim in a Muslim country or a Mormon in Utah, it would have to be the Christian refugee in Syria.  She might cost a little more, but my Uncle Al always told me, "You get what you pay for."  I just hope that he was right.