Well, we have to remember that Pepsi burned off poor Michael Jackson's hair. They also support those evil gays, which practically makes the Communist, so we have to weigh the gay Commies against the German Nazis. It's a hard decision, really. I don't think Coca-Cola burned anyone up yet, unless you count their support of Hitler burning the Jews, but it's possible they just kept it out of the press.
Such an important moral decision can really put one in turmoil. Which do we choose? How do we make such a decision? Well, for me, the easiest way is to either buy the cheapest or buy a no-name brand. I prefer to buy a no-name brand when I can find one that doesn't taste like crap because it doesn't weigh so heavily on my conscience. It also saves an appreciable amount of money over a period of time. One thing for sure, after contemplating such a moral dilemma, finding yourself covered in sweat, you're going to need something cool to drink. If all else fails, drink *water.
*Warning: Water may be hazardous to your health. It may contain BPA, heavy metals, insecticides, radioactive isotopes, and other toxins. Avoid swimming in water after meals or you may get cramps and may swallow some of the water. Drinking too much water may cause water intoxication leading to electrolyte imbalance and tissue swelling can cause an irregular heartbeat, allow fluid to enter the lungs, and may cause fluttering eyelids. May lead to swelling and pressure on the brain and nerves, which can cause behaviors resembling alcohol intoxication, swelling of brain tissues, seizures, coma or death. If you are pregnant or nursing, consult a doctor before drinking water.
Copyright � 2011 Cal Jennings
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