Happy Veteran's Day

Because a younger friend asked me to tell what it was like growing up in the time period of the late 60s/early 70s, I thought I should write it in a blog.  There are probably a lot of people who see the footage of Woodstock and think the period was about nothing but sex, drugs, and rock and roll.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

I was in 6th grade in 1968.  I had just gone through a major kidney surgery, so I wasn't as exposed to many of the things the other students were.  I spent long hours watching television, watching the news, the protests, and all the other events that were going on.

The Viet Nam police action (it wasn't declared a war until relatively recently) was televised and you could see people being shot and killed every night on the news.  Young men were groomed back then to believe that the only right thing to do is to die for your country, so most of us watched these things carefully.  Many started to question WHY we were in the war and what purpose it served.  They started protesting "The Establishment."  Those who did were scorned and called un-American for having the audacity to question authority.  Still, many young people got together, dug through the facts, and decided that the war was wrong and only served the arms dealers.  Protests were breaking out in colleges across the country.  At Kent State, some of the college students were killed for protesting.

The protests and killings brought recognition to the peace protesters.  The drug use was overstated in many cases to discredit them. 

One group of people came up with the idea to have a concert for three days of peace and love.  That was Woodstock. 

The idea was to have every person who was against the war to gather in one place to show the leaders that the war was not supported by the majority of those who were being sent to die.  Yes, there were drugs.  There was sex.  There was certainly rock and roll.  They were young people.  They knew that if something wasn't done, they'd be sent off to die in a foreign country soon for the glory of Capitalism.  Young people everywhere were shouting things like, "Sex, drugs, and rock and roll," "Peace... love... tranquility..." (many of the ones talking about peace, love, and tranquility were tripping out on LSD while they were saying it as the TV cameras were rolling).  Hollywood had a field day with the hippy movement.  So did the media.  There were many phrases, but the underlying cause of the whole movement WAS peace and love.  Of course, being young, most took it as sex rather than love for your fellow man as it should have been.  Me?  I was a Jesus freak. 

I missed out on all the drugs.  I was doing my best to live as Christ taught us and had to secretly support the "hippy" movement in my heart because to my grandparents and mother with whom I lived thought all the hippies should be shot.  Openly, I had to agree with my gracious grandparents who had saved us from the horrors of living with my ex-Marine dad, but I secretly longed to take a puff from one of those funny cigarettes many of my friends would puff on behind the band hall.

To me, the words of Christ and supporting the war were in direct conflict.  As the years came closer to my having to go into the service, I had decided to enter as a conscientious objector.  I had decided that it was the only way I could be true to Christ.  I was lucky, though.  Nixon had ended the draft, and though I still had to go in for my physical, I didn't have to go into the service.  Most of my friends, being full of youthful desire to go kill someone, enlisted into the service even though they didn't have to.  Those who came back spoke out loudly against it.  Some of them got together with me and we'd go to the beaches and sing peace songs and war protest songs.  We didn't want the government changing its mind about the draft and sending more people to die needless deaths in wars where we weren't truly defending our country, but profiteers.

I was the only Christian in my group of friends.  The others were either Wiccan, atheist, or agnostic.  We had many conversations about religion, beliefs, personal liberty, defending our country, peace, and love.  I didn't smoke a joint with them until after I was 21 and married.  I did, though, hold my best friend's head many a night while he barfed up the alcohol he drank to try to kill the memory of something that happened in Viet Nam.  When I finally DID smoke with them, the conversations became deeper and more interesting.  They were never afraid that I would "narc" on them.  They just didn't think I'd understand.

As the years passed, I watched my best friend crawl deeper and deeper into the bottle.  He couldn't hold a steady job after he came back from the Navy where he had worked on nuclear weapons as an electronics tech.  Since I had a good job, I would take him and his girlfriend, a full blooded Cherokee, to concerts.  I knew he couldn't afford it.  Eventually, he was down to working here and there at electrical supply companies for a couple months at a time.  Toward the end, he couldn't work at all.  He died in 2001.  I visit his grave every Memorial Day if I can possibly get there.

Copyright © 2010 Cal Jennings

Glenn Beck's Commencement Address at Liberty University

I'm really not sure why, but for some reason I felt that, in the interest of being fair and balanced, I should listen to Glenn Beck's commencement address at Liberty University. I listened to the whole thing, mostly out of morbid curiosity. He did alright thanking them for giving him an honorary PhD "...with all the rights and privileges apertaining thereto," at least for a man of his beliefs. When he started comparing himself to Moses, however, my eyes rolled so far back in my head that they became stuck and I'm having to type this blog blind. Ok, not really, but you get the point. I did feel it was interesting enough to make a spoof video of. Enjoy:

Discovery Communications Looks to Fox News

Saturday, 17 April 2010

Palin's Discovery Channel Show Set to Launch

Discovery Communications, wanting to become fair and balanced, looked to Fox News's Sarah Palin, the vice-presidential hopeful in the 2009 U.S. presidential election. Discovery, long known for it's earth-friendly offerings with such shows as the Discovery Channel, the "Planet Earth" series, the Science Channel, Animal Planet, and TreeHugger.com, after rumors that its CEO would be shot from a helicopter if he didn't do what was good for him, decided to schedule "Sarah Palin's Alaska."

The new show, unlike Discovery's past shows, will offer segments such as "How to Shoot and Dress Baby Seals," "Fun with AK-47s and Helicopters," "Strip Mining in Natural Forests," "Hiding Bodies of Environmentalists In the Snow," "Fishing with Grenades," and "The Most Fun Ways to Drown Baby Kittens." Ms. Palin is also planning a special on how to profit best from deforesting to lay oil pipelines by cutting and selling the trees for profit vs burning the forests and shooting the animals that run out trying to escape the fire. A line taken from the special states,

"Selling the trees may be profitable, but how can you compare the monetary profit to the joy of killing frightened, defensless animals. Besides, if you get lucky, you can make a some bucks selling the hides."

In order to boost the popularity of the show, the RNC has introduced major funding to advertise the series and has hired Xe, formerly known as Blackwater, to harrass and destroy anyone who seeks to oppose the show. A major "hit" contract was taken out on CREEDO this morning after an email release of a petition to prevent the show from airing.

When Ms. Palin was asked why she thought the show was relevant to Discovery Communications, she responded, "The Discovery Channel has long been a problem to true Conservative Christians. After watching a show on the Discovery Channel, my baby girl broke out in tears and begged me to stop shooting her caged pet rabbits with my AK. It has clearly been used as a tool of those whiny environmentalists to break up traditional family values in the home. The Bible says to honor your father and mother, not question them. It was turning our children into tree-hugging, pet loving, Socialist Marxist Communist zombies who didn't even delight in killing for fun. It was turning our children into flitting faggots. It was obviously the real reason that my daughter got pregnant out of wedlock. My show will teach good, wholesome, traditional Christian values to the network and bring balance to the Godless station.

Look how many people the Discovery Channel brainwashed into voting for that Nazi Marxist Obama who is destroying America with Socialist programs such as Health Care Reform and giving tax breaks to people who aren't even rich. Besides, this new platform will give me more opportunities to pose in my bathing suit with other assault rifles from my collection and allow me to pose semi-nude laying on various animal hides. I can't wait to pose bare on a bear! I just bagged the biggest polar bear in history!"

The show's producers worry that some of its regular viewers may be offended by the new show's offerings. To circumvent this matter, the following disclaimer will be run at the beginning of the show:

"WARNING: This show may be offensive to tree hugging, whiny animal lover faggots who want to save the planet. Change the channel or feel the sting of my bullets"

PETA is planning to picket the office of Discovery Communications bearing signs with posters of various animals that Palin has mercilessly slaughtered. It is rumored that the whole organization will attend to shout in unison, "Hell NO, we won't watch the show!"

Discovery Communications is also considering a show by Dick Cheney, who will do a show on using your friends as game on hunting trips, how to rig large buildings with explosives to build support for war, and how to use fear and intimidation to turn women into prostitutes. It will also soon host shows by appropriately named JunkScience.com's Steven Malloy do debunk myths that nuclear radioactivity is harmful, that there's danger in dumping mercury into waterways, and to prove that cyanide and other oil company and chemical plant emissions which are currently being billed as toxins can be good for you. Malloy will also explain why it's good to dispose of toxins by putting them in consumable products.

As a goodwill offering to Discovery Communications, Fox News is lending Discovery the right to use "Fair and Balanced" in its show headlines. It is rumored that this deal was negotiated with Roger Ailes by Sarah Palin herself in the executive bedroom of Fox News because she wanted to be able to use the slogan in her shows. When asked if this was true, Sarah Palin acknowledged the fact saying, "I screwed him for Jesus so we can promote Christian values."

There will be still more developments at Discovery Communications, but at this time they are under a tight cloak of secrecy. "Even George Bush's illegal wiretapping won't get you an answer on this one," said David Zaslav, CEO of Discovery Communications.

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Silver Spring, Maryland

The Story of Jane

Part I

The tiny succubus spoke with her demonic dragon master overlorded by her evil witch mother. Another demon lurked near. Jane had been through the ritual of molestation by her father as prescribed in the council of evil Witches. It would seed her deeply in rage, hostility, and self- indulgence more than any other creature in the world. She had been chosen to destroy The One.

The tiny child was reared to express her lust, hatred, anger, and hostility toward everyone she saw. She was taught deep arts of deception and seduction. By the time she was seven, she had molested both of her brothers and readied them for demonic possession. By the time she was eleven, she had seduced several women and brought them under her evil influence. She thrilled at the touch of her father and flaunted her control of him in front of her mother.

Although her mother knew that it was necessary, it still hurt her deeply to see how easily she manipulated her husband.

“You little slut! One of these days, you're going to get yours. Remember, what goes around comes around.”

As she grew into her teen years, she had every boy who saw her eating out of her hand. She would instruct them to commit crimes to prove they loved her, then laugh as they were captured by the police and carried away in a squad car, lights flashing and sirens blaring.

Everyone whose life she touched was destroyed, just as it had been planned. She had progressed faster than anyone could have believed, even with all the power of darkness and the other eight demons which had entered her body. She had seduced her principal and had laughed hysterically as the other office workers tried to pull the hypnotized educator off of her. Her power had become so strong that The Council of Witches feared that she may even take control over their master.

At sixteen, she had seduced a young man on a motorcycle and taken off on her own. The only way The Council of Witches could track her was through a psychic connection... but only if she allowed them to. They feared that they had done their work too well. They were right. They could no longer control her actions. She had become more powerful than all of them combined. She had learned how to command and seduce all the demons and creatures of the underworld. They dare not make her angry.

In her 35^th year, it was time. The One had appeared as a man named Carl. He had been chosen to bring light into the world. He was to gather all the light workers of the world to defeat the darkness. He was the hope for mankind's deliverance. The witches knew it must be stopped lest they lose all their power on the earth. They called a sacrificial meeting to prepare Jane for her destined feat.

The coven leader called the coven to gather at their cavern in the mountains. The full moon lit the entrance to the cavern. A few bats flew out of the entrance as they began their entry. The walls were cold and gnarled roots protruded from its walls. Torches and candles lit the way into the deep, dark sanctuary. The flashing light of the torches revealed the shackles, restraints, and torture devices housed in their place of ritual.

A sadomasochistic orgy to precede the ritual as they shouted their praises to the Evil One. Candlelight flashed on the whips and chains as they made their marks. Orgasmic screams were heard throughout the cavern. When they were through with their debauchery, Jane was placed on the altar as the witches and warlocks gathered round, cutting their flesh and offering sacrifices, chanting spells as they slashed their flesh, cut off fingers, and let their blood pour into a chalice. They mixed it with a mixture of proscribed ingredients. The mixture effervesced momentarily when the last ingredient was added. Dragons and demons appeared in the darkness lit only by candles. Strange other-worldly moans emerged from nothingness.

When they had come to the end of the ritual, they lifted the chalice to Jane's mouth and commanded her to drink. She took some of the blood in her mouth, then spat it on them, cackling after she did so. The warlock priest presiding over the ceremony punched her face hard. She let out a scream, then, this time, took the blood mixture. When she swallowed, a large wind swept in, blowing out the candles. Lightning's eerie fingers stretched down over Jane. The candles were re-lit. The ceremony was over.

All the coven fell to their knees and bowed to her when she arose. The devices had been set in motion and she was to be the salvation of darkness, the concubine of the Evil One. Just as she was leaving, she turned and hissed at the coven leader who had hit her. He immediately felt the pain of a thousand ants stinging his body. He fell to the floor and writhed in pain. His mistress started toward Jane, but was stopped with Jane's cold, hard stare.

Jane stalked and followed Carl studying him online... plotting her move. After a few months, finally it was time. In a single night, she had played on his sympathies, telling him of the awful things that the witch coven did to her. She decided to trick him into giving her a secret to abort a child, telling her she was raped by a gang of ruffians. This would cause him to break a tie with the light and allow a demon to slip in and influence him. She described how they pounded her over and over; how she screamed helplessly for them to stop. Carl tried to resist the desire he was feeling for her as he felt himself growing erect, hoping he could someway bring her to the light. She played on his desire and seduced him that very night, her orgasm piercing the night air over the phone. By the next day, a soul-bond had been formed through which she could control him, even at great distances.

Jane played the part of a helpless Cinderella perfectly, then when he fell for her helplessness, she'd start describing in detail what others had done to her. Carl fell into a helpless state of eroticism. When she was sure he was hooked hard, she seduced him through astral projection. She took his long, hard member into her astral body, riding him up and down. Carl couldn't believe that he was experiencing this. It felt wonderful. It felt as if she was really there. Jane reached into his chest with her astral hand and grabbed his heart. Carl felt himself discharging in his underwear harder than he ever had before. He was totally helpless. She united her soul with his and blinded him to the evil that had befallen him. She had him totally in her power. He was convinced that the uniting was of the light and he had saved this poor woman's soul. More than that, he was in love.

Carl was easily manipulated after that. She would play as if she were madly in love with him. She would make him fall deeper and deeper in love. Each day, another game, another poem, another act of helplessness, playing on his desire to have her in person and walk with her through life. He saw her as the perfect mate to help him bring light into the world if he could only save her. She conveyed how her life was in danger from the evil coven leaders, bringing out his desire to save her even stronger. Through the spirit tie, he could feel her pleasure and her pain. When she would partake in her sadomasochistic pleasures, the pain would cause him to feel he was having a heart attack. Several times it sent him to the emergency room.

Knowing now that he was fully under the spell, Jane spoke a spell from an ancient ritual and caused Carl to propose to her. He WANTED to propose her. So deeply was he entangled with her that he knew he must have her. After he spoke the proposal, she toyed with his feelings. She then accepted his proposal, filling Carl with elation. The next day, it was time to break his heart for the first time.

Jane contacted Carl by Instant Messenger. They had been speaking on cam for months. Today she would not turn on her cam. Instead, she typed to him about how her ex had come back and how she slept with him. She told Carl that she was going back to Donny and the engagement was over. Carl pleaded, but Jane would not rescind. Carl was so heartbroken that he grabbed the bottles of pills near his table and swallowed them. Carl passed out, the room swirling around his head as he drifted into darkness.

The next morning, Carl awoke. The pills had not been enough to kill him. He wept bitterly and uncontrollably. He tried to contact Jane, but she only used the contact to hurt him worse and worse, telling him all the things that Donny had done to her. It was driving him mad.

Copyright © 2009 Cal Jennings

A Faerie Tale

A Faerie Tale
Part I

Chapter I

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess whose words made everyone’s hears smile. The birds would sing and the squirrels would scurry down the branches to get a glimpse of her whenever she walked outdoors. All the people of her land were happy.
One day, the evil Lord of Darkness got word of this beauty and sent his evil mignons out to tear her down and destroy her. First, he sent a dark knight disguised as a handsome prince to capture her heart and marry her. After this Sir Charles married her, he sent his dark wizard, Carcinoma Moriarty, to take his life, leaving Princess Swissy in despair. This worked for awhile and her people were saddened, then she recovered and her people became happy again.
The evil Lord of Darkness grew tired of the people rejoicing, so he called on some henchmen to keep trying to seduce her with romance, then mistreat and abuse her. He sent them time after time until she was broken and driven to the brink of insanity.
Princess Swissy’s good knights called on her kingdom’s best counselors to try to ease her pain. They met with a limited measure of success, but Princess Swissy was lonely and full of grief.
Her people were saddened by her condition, but this was not enough to satisfy the Lord of Darkness. He devised a plan to completely destroy her and send her people into turmoil.
The evil Lord of Darkness once again called on his dark wizard, Carcinoma Moriarty. He ordered the evil wizard to depart to her kingdom, make her suffer, then destroy her. The dark wizard departed and called upon the most evil of dragons to take her in his talons and isolate her in the mountain tops where she might grow more and more lonely.

Chapter II

In a kingdom far away, there lived an humble prince who had lost his princess to the clutches of Carcinoma Moriarty. Knowing the evil that lurked in Carcinoma’s heart, Prince Cal-el was constantly on the watch for his evil deeds as he searched the land for his new princess.
Prince Cal-el had allies across the land who both helped him find those in distress and tried to guide him to a new princess to ease his lonely heart. One day, Sir Allen brought word of this lovely princess to Prince Cal-el’s attention. As soon as Prince Cal-el read the words that she had written on Sir Allen’s scroll, he was captivated. This eventually came to the attention of the Lord of Darkness, who planned a diversion to distract Prince Cal-el.
The Lord of Darkness called on his evil witch Zellina to appear to Prince Cal-el as an angel of light. In his loneliness, he allowed himself to be distracted for a time and he, at first, overlooked a few of the inconsistencies that the evil Zellina presented. Luckily, Prince Cal-el had enough sense to keep a wary eye out and called on his Father for protection and guidance.
While the evil witch Zellina was successful in delaying Prince Cal-el’s plans for restoring peace across all the land, the delays only allowed him to broaden his contacts to other lands and to deepen the friendships with the contacts that he had already made. He was also able to contact two of his brothers and one of his sisters in the cause for peace, with whom he had trained in his youth. Older and wiser now wiser now, Prince Cal-el saw these repeated delays for what they were, a distraction from the true woman his Father wanted him to be with, the one who would enable him to move foreword with his plans for peace starting in this land, then moving to others all across the globe. Prince Cal-el knew that such a plan could result in his own death, but he also knew that through the training of his spirit, once he got the spark of peace to create even the smallest flame, the wind of his death would fan the flame into a bright fire that would drive the darkness completely out of his land and eventually out of the other lands across the globe. Prince Cal-el, under the guidance of his Father, cast out the evil witch Zellina and set out to find the princess of his heart and dreams. He devised his plans to leave his Fortress of Solitude and set off across the land in search of Princess Swissy.
Still a little shaken from his mistakes in judgment regarding the evil witch Zellina, and not wanting to alienate his good friend, Sir Allen, he first consulted with Sir Allen to be sure there were no romantic ties between him and Princess Swissy. When Sir Allen assured Prince Cal-el that there weren’t, Prince Cal-el wasted no time in pursuing his dream princess.
Knowing that Princess Swissy was far away and that she would undoubtedly be under attack by the Lord of Darkness, Prince Cal-el called on the queen of the Druids, Queen Sandralina, to help him find ways to communicate with her. He called on the queen of the Faeries, Queen Ari-Anjaela to enlist her aid and services. He even consulted a strange, but exceedingly wise wizard, Jojoseph der Vanderbilt, who was said to have come from another world… far, far away, long, long ago.
Queen Sandralina endowed Cal-el with the ability to communicate with the creatures of the earth. He used the power to send out birds and squirrels to send Princess Swissy his messages. He awaited anxiously at their return message, but knowing the valleys and dangers to those tiny messengers, he dared not stop there. Queen Sandralina gave him her blessing.
He consulted again with Queen Ari-Anjaela and she sent out her fairy servants to help watch over the tiny creatures as they carried their messages back and forth. Though Prince Cal-el knew that this could be dangerous, since faeries have little trust of man, he decided to move foreword with this arrangement on faith. His hope was that the trust he had built with her through his honest and truthful dealings with her and her people would prove fruitful.

Next, Prince Cal-el gathered his courage and approached the wise, powerful, otherworldly wizard Jojoseph der Vanderbilt.

Video II

Now Cal-el had angered Jojoseph after Cal-el had emerged from his deep sleep after a sixteen year war. Prince Cal-el was so drained and tired when he emerged from his sleep that he couldn’t recall all of the lessons of his youth. This angered the mighty wizard who thought Prince Cal-el a fool. Prince Cal-el, rather than take righteous offense at Jojoseph’s scorn, humbled himself and endured the mighty wizard’s hasty criticism. In the end, the two became friends, and the mighty wizard revealed unto him a few secrets of the universe. This enabled Prince Cal-el to draw on his prior knowledge and to unlock the secrets of the universe from which his mind had been clouded by the draining efforts of the war and the deep sleep. “Reach out with your feelings, “ are the words that kept coming to the prince’s thoughts every time he was in the presence of the mighty wizard.

Chapter III

Back in the mountains, the first bird made it to Princess Swissy. His mate had been eaten by the evil dragon, but he had gotten through. He carried Prince Cal-el’s message to Princess Swissy and told her about the sad death of his mate at the hands of the evil dragon. Princess Swissy thanked him and she comforted him with her kind words. After awhile, her words soothed him and he began to sing for her quietly so as not to attract the attention of the dragon guarding the castle.
“Why did my wife have to die on this mission?” he asked before he got ready to take her message back to Prince Cal-el. Princess Swissy responded, “No greater gift hath mortal creature than for a friend to die.”
The bird thought deeply on this and realized that his mate was not being foolish when she flew so close to the dragon’s face, but had sacrificed herself so that he could get through with the message. His wife had been born in Princess Swissy’s kingdom and she had often told him of the beautiful princess, and how the princess’ words had made her heart sing. A tear came to his eye, then he gathered his inner strength and set off to take the message to Prince Cal-el. His wife’s death would not be in vain.
As the small bird left the tower window, the evil dragon spied him and tried to destroy with a long blast from his nostrils. The little bird, angered at his wife’s death in the mouth of the dragon, and filled with newfound strength of Spirit, dove down, came up between the streams of fire that were issuing from the dragon’s nostrils, and pecked the dragon square in the eye. The dragon let out a painful roar and the bird flew safely away.
On the way back to Prince Cal-el’s kingdom, the bird saw a group of squirrels that were making their way toward the mountains where Princess Swissy was being held. He glided down toward them so as not to frighten them. He came to roost on the limb of a large oak tree that had a branch hanging over a deep stream.
“We should jump from this oak limb to the sycamore,” the first squirrel said.
“No, no, no!” the second one argued. “We should climb the rocks and scurry up the grape vine hanging from the willow tree.”
“But the vine might break!” the first exclaimed insistently.]
“TaaawWEEEET!!” the bird whistled loudly to get the lead squirrels’ attention. “You two quit arguing!” he said. “You need to travel as safely as possible. You’ll need your strength and wits about you to get past the evil dragon,” he said sadly. He then proceeded to tell them about the brace act, and death, of his wife.

Chapter IV

Back at the Fortress of Solitude, Cal-el was preparing for the journey that, he knew in his heart, would lie ahead. He went to The Firehouse Armory where the smith prepared him the finest of weapons… A mahogany guitar made with the finest craftsmanship known to man. The red wood reminded him of the blood of his savior, and the resonant sound touched his Spirit and resonated in his heart. The kindly smith let Prince Cal-el have the weapon with the finest of sheaths for a song, for which he was greatly appreciative. Prince Cal-el would remember this kindness for all of his days.
As Prince Cal-el was walking back to the fortress, the small bird landed on his shoulder and gave him the message from Princess Swissy. The message filled Prince Cal-el’s heart with love and joy. The prince rewarded the bird with its fill of the finest grain in the kingdom. They entered the fortress and both ate at the great dining table where Prince Cal-el asked the bird about its journey.
The bird told him how several times birds of prey had tried to dine on him and his wife, but the faerie’s spell had made the birds of prey see triple. Each time the bird of prey’s confusion had allowed them to escape unharmed.
“Where is your wife now?” asked Prince Cal-el.
The small bird hung its head and proceeded to tell the prince about his wife’s heroic sacrifice which had allowed him to complete his mission. Some of the messenger squirrels, who were gathered around the table feasting on fresh nuts, began to weep. A tear came to Prince Cal-el’s eye, but he turned his head and secretly wiped the tear away.

Chapter V

With the animal network in place, Prince Cal-el and Princess Swissy began communicating daily. As they communicated their romantic feelings toward one another, their love grew deeper and deeper. They expressed to one another their hopes, fears, dreams, and undying love. Princess Swissy encouraged and supported Prince Cal-el’s plans for bringing love, peace, hope, ad equality throughout the world, which was a huge relief to Prince Cal-el. His former princess had been more concerned with the price of her designer clothing than with the needs of the people. Her expensive taste had almost bankrupted Cal-el’s kingdom before her untimely death.
The birds and squirrels had told Prince Cal-el about Princess Swissy’s relatively modest attire and how she had cared for her people before her capture. They told him how much they and the people loved her and her kind words. Some of them even told Prince Cal-el that he and Princess Swissy would be a perfect match. Prince Cal-el wholeheartedly agreed.

Chapter VI

One of the young squirrels got separated from its group on the way to Princess Swissy and became lost. Being young, he panicked and started looking around for help. He spied a gopher, but the gopher had been underground and had not seen the squirrel pack. Suddenly, he spied a buzzard feeding on a boar carcass.
“What do you want?!” the evil buzzard asked sharply.
“I’m wost,” said the little squirrel, “and I have to get back to da pack so we can take a message to Pwincess Swissy.” The young squirrel didn’t understand the weight of what he had just said.
The evil buzzard grinned a wide grin. “Princess Swissy, you say?” asked the old buzzard. “Perhaps if you tell me the message I could assist you, “ he said.
“Oh NO!” exclaimed the little squirrel. “It’s a secwet,” said he.
“OH, a Secret, you say, “ said the sly old buzzard. “Why would you want to keep a secret for this Princess Swissy?” he asked.
“She’s the sweeteth pwincess in the whole world, my pawents said,” stammered the little squirrel.
“But what has she done four YOU?” asked the evil buzzard.
“Welllll… uh, nothing’,” said the little squirrel. After all, his mother taught him never to lie.
“Well, then,” said the sly old buzzard, “it wouldn’t hurt you just to tell me a LOTTLE of the message, now WOULD it?”
“Welwww, I don’t know,” said the little squirrel.
“Aw, come on!” said the mean old buzzard. “Just a few tidbits to satisfy my curiosity? After all, we ARE friends, aren’t we?”
“Well, Pwince Cal-el and pwincess Swissy are in wuv!”
“Oh, I see,” the buzzard said. “That’s nothing. Anything else?”
“PWINCE CAL-EL IS GOING TO WESCUE PWINCESS SWISSY! Oops! I wasn’t s’posed to say dat!” exclaimed the squirrel.
“There, there! That’s ok,” grinned the evil buzzard. “You won’t have to worry about it because… I’M going to EAT YOU!!!”
The buzzard stretched out his wings and struck out at the little squirrel. The little squirrel dodged the beak and scurried off. The old buzzard pursued closely, and just as the buzzard was about to strike again, the little squirrel ran into a small hold at the base of a large oak tree. The buzzard, being in hot pursuit, didn’t notice the tree, and his head slammed hard into the tree, knocking him out.
The little squirrel, frightened and shivering, stared at the motionless buzzard for a moment, then, realizing that he was safe, scurried out of the hole, around the buzzard, and off to find the rest of his pack.

Chapter VII

Prince Cal-el, realizing that his weapons were too massive for him to carry by himself, called on Sir John of the Cameron Clan. He knew that the members of the Cameron Clan were strong and able bodied, and they were all skilled warriors. He knew that, though he would prefer to solve things peacefully, he may need the fine skills of their swords before this was finished. He then called on his Lord of the serfs, Sir Feudiferous to help him devise a stealthy, strategic plan. Prince Cal-el knew that stealth and strategy would be of paramount importance when dealing with the Lord of Darkness, the evil wizard Moriarty, the evil witch Zellina, and the fierce, evil dragon who was guarding Princess Swissy. Sir Feudiferous was a learned scholar who chronicled the political activity in the kingdom. He often shone light on darkness and corruption whenever it reared its ugly head. Prince Cal-el knew that his knowledge of science, both ancient and present would be useful in Princess Swissy’s rescue and that Sir Feudiferous would chronicle the events accurately.
As Prince Cal-el and Sir Feudiferous devised the plan, Prince Cal-el decided that he should call on his chief scientist, Lord Astera, to devise a means of transportation for the group and its arsenal. The transportation had to be quiet and efficient, and able to transport the musical instruments that would be needed up the steep hills and across the streams they encountered. Lord Astera created the device and informed Prince Cal-el that he had added a few “extras” in case they encountered unexpected trouble.
Now it was time to assemble the warriors. Prince Cal-el sent the brave little bird, who had lost his wife on the first mission, to contact his chief musician, Sir William Quincy. Prince Cal-el instructed the bird to tell Sir Quincy to gather the finest musicians and vocalists in the land and have them gather at the castle for a briefing before they set off on their long journey.

Chapter VIII

The evil buzzard flew to the wall of the castle where Princess Swissy was being held. He winked at the evil dragon and waited for the dragon’s return wink to be sure that the dragon had seen him. After all, he didn’t want to catch the dragon off-guard and be eaten himself. Receiving the return wink, the evil buzzard flew to the window of the king’s chamber where the evil Lord of Darkness had just arrived.
Just as the buzzard was about to land on the window ledge, the evil dragon closed off one nostril with it’s index claw and let out a stream of fire from the other. The stream of fire just missed the buzzard’s tail, singing its tail feathers. The evil buzzard, surprised, quickly glanced over at the dragon, missing what would have been a perfect landing. The buzzard hit hard, sprawling over the stone sill, grasping with his wings to keep from falling to the hard stone floor below. The evil dragon reared his head and laughed a deep belly laugh over the torment he had caused his ally. The laugh was so loud that it echoed through the valleys below.
The evil buzzard regained his composure and glided down in front of the throne, bowing in front of the Lord of Darkness.
“Arise!” said the Lord of Darkness in a deep, booming voice reminiscent of James Earl Jones’ “Darth Vader” voice. “What news do you bring me?”
“Lord Luciferous, “the buzzard replied, “I bring you news of Prince Cal-el preparing an attempt to rescue Princess Swissy.”
“WHAT?!?” Lord Luciferous boomed, echoing through the chamber as he backhanded the buzzard, sending the bird tumbling backward down the steps.
Lord Luciferous rose from his throne and bellowed, “Send for Sir Moriarty… and give this CARRion feeding MAGGot my USUal reward for bringing me bad news.”
“No, No, NO! Please Lord Luciferous! You CAN’T!” the evil buzzard exclaimed as the lord’s evil guards grabbed him.
“But I CAN, HA HA Haaahhh!” laughed the evil Lord Luciferous, his voice echoing in the chamber and in the ears of the frightened and doomed buzzard’s ears as he was dragged down the hall.

Chapter IX

Back at Prince Cal-el’s fortress, the Lords, Knights, and the Cameron Clan were gathered at the long banquet table. The table was covered in the finest white silk tablecloth that had been imported from India. Prince Cal-el had asked the head cook, Lady Samanthia, to prepare the finest meal she could for he knew this may be the last meal for some of them. There were baked turkeys, suckling pigs with polished apples in their mouths, tender veal, and a concoction created by Sir Warreneous Arnoldus, a sweet, tender, shredded meat cooked over coals in a special sauce seasoned with his secret blend of herbs, that he called Barbeque. There were the finest, freshest vegetable dishes and fruit dishes available. Sweet, tender ears of corn dripping with fresh butter, broccoli in a cheese sauce made with the finest cheeses and freshest cream, steamed asparagus seasoned to perfection, mashed potatoes, with a big bowl of gravy made from the beef drippings and the finest flour, baked potatoes with sides of butter, chives, shredded cheddar, and sour cream, with a bowl of crumbled bacon for those who desired it, baked and candied yams, and special recipe dishes created by Lady Samanthia herself. There was boiled and broiled lobster served with clarified butter, stuffed crab, boiled snow crab legs from the Northwest region of the continent, escargot, crepes, and just about every kind of fresh fruit and vegetable salads that you could imagine. There was fresh fruit sliced and placed on platters across the table. Everything was served on silver platters which glistened in the light provided by the candlelight, torch light, and even a special globe provided by Lord Astera, the Magister. Lord Astera had found that, by connecting a very fine wire to batteries that he had fashioned with ceramic jars, metal rods, and the juice of strong citrus fruits, he would get a glow of light. Since the fine wire, no thicker than a hair, soon burned up in the presence of air, he had learned that he could make them last longer by placing them in a glass globe and sucking the air out with a long plunger. He sealed the holes with tar to prevent air from re-entering the globe. This was to be his first display of his new creation.
Everyone marveled and commented on this new display of light and it was the subject of much dinner conversation. The dinner was served with the finest wines and the best ales which were produced by Sir Workinius Dogiferous, who would come along to provide his working knowledge of edible trees, plants, and fungi in case they ran short on supplies.
The beverages were served in shining silver mugs and goblets which had been chilled by another of Lord Astera’s inventions. He had used a HUGE bellows in which to compress gasses. When he released the compressed gasses, he had found that they came out, of the valve he had fashioned, much cooler than the surrounding air. It was with the release of these gasses that the mugs and goblets had been chilled.
Prince Cal-el had requested that he be served last, allowing his friends and guests to be first served. When the servants brought Prince Cal-el a silver goblet, laden with jewels, and chilled to perfection, filled with his favorite wine, he sent it away and asked for them to serve it in his earthen vessel of which he had become so fond. It was a source of comfort to Prince Cal-el, and he wanted something more familiar with him as he made his speech.
As the crowd dined, they were entertained by Princess Samirilla, who had left her father’s kingdom to travel the land with Sir Arnoldus, singing songs of praise, glory, and the love of the Father, as traveling minstrels. They had no use for the riches of their kingdoms but to bring the love of the Father to others. It was their Father who had called them to Prince Cal-el’s aide. Prince Cal-el had once helped the brave knight and his princess sell Sir Arnoldus’ creation, this “Barbeque” one time when they were passing through his kingdom. Their horse had thrown a shoe and Prince Cal-el had helped them sell his new concoction to raise money for the repairs to the unshod horse. Princess Samirilla had treated Prince Cal-el to a new song that she had written and it touched his soul. This is where he got the idea to have them perform and serve this “Barbeque” for the crowd.
When Princess Samirilla finished her performance and Prince Cal-el saw that everyone had finished their desert, Prince Cal-el gave orders to pass all the leftover food and deserts to those who had wandered into his kingdom and had found themselves hungering. He asked some of the musicians if they would also perform for the hungry and try to raise additional funds with which to feed them until they could get on their feet in his kingdom. When his servants and the few musicians had departed, Prince Cal-el arose from his seat and walked to the nearest end of the long table with his earthen vessel in one hand and a spoon in the other.
Prince Cal-el had seen to it that there were no chairs at either end of the table. He had wanted to be sure that no one, including himself, placed or tried to place, themselves in a position higher than the others. He preferred this configuration to large round tables because, in his childhood, he had noticed how difficult it was for the servants to place food and candles in the center of the large round tables. He had also overheard soe of the servants complaining of the backaches they had the next day after serving at such tables.
Now that Prince Cal-el was standing at the end of the table, he raised his goblet and lightly struck the side of it a few times, making a dinging sound. The goblet had been constructed with just enough lead to allow the tonal quality, but not enough to cause the poisoning that the great wizard Jojoseph had warned him of. When Prince Cal-el saw that everyone was looking at him and had quieted down, he began his speech.

CH IXa

Prince Cal-el’s Speech
“First a toast to the New Camelot,” said Prince Cal-el in his loud, deep speaking voice.
The NEW Camelot !” exclaimed the crowd who then cheered as they all raised their glasses then took a drink.
“One of the Cameron Clan, a bit inebriated, raised his glass and exclaimed, “To the New Camelot’s PRETTY WOMEN!”
The Clan member staggered backwards a bit. His chair seat caught him right behind his knee, causing him to fall back into his chair. His ale spilled down the front of his shirt. The crowd started laughing wildly.
Prince Cal-el, wanting to stop the laughing and teasing that could cause hurt feelings, smiled a large grin, trying to suppress the urge to laugh himself, then exclaimed in a loud voice, “To the NEW Camelot’s PRETTY WOMEN!”
The crowd stopped its laughing and teasing, and became quiet.
A crackly old woman’s voice rang out saying, “We don’t talk that way about women in the New Camelot!”
The crowd erupted with a burst of laughter, then became silent again, turning their attention back to Prince Cal-el.
“A great evil has befallen this continent,” continued Prince Cal-el.” “News has come to me from the far side of the continent that Princess Swissy has been captured by the evil Lord of Darkness. She’s being tortured by the Dark Knight, Sir Carcinoma Moriarty, and being guarded by the evil dragon… the only dragon who has turned to the side of darkness.”
“I gave called you here to assist me in that rescue, “ Cal-el continued on. “The castle is surrounded by a great, thick wall, and so are the hearts of the people of that village. Lord Astera and JoJoseph der Vanderbilt have performed calculations on the wall and believe that they have found its rate of harmonic resonance. The trumpets will sounds the notes, then I want all of you, divided into sections, to sing those notes until the walls start to crumble. After the walls are down, you shall perform a song that was written by Princess Samirilla. This should tear down the walls surrounding the peoples’ hearts. No one is to strike until the song is complete. We shall try diplomacy and love before we resort to violence and war.”
The crowd started murmuring.
“Fear not!” Prince Cal-el Shouted. “I shall command all the people of the kingdom to remain in prayer for us throughout our journey. I shall also ask Queen Sandralina for her assistance and the assistance of the Druids. Our Father will be with us!”
“Our Father will be WITH US!!” the people shouted.
“All we need is LOVE!” exclaimed Prince Cal-el.
“All we need is LOVE!!” replied the people

Chapter XVI

The evil witch Zellina worked up her numerology and astrology charts on Prince Cal-el. Seeing that he was an Aquarius like Achilles, she decided that the heel would be a good place to strike him.
Gazing into her crystal ball, she saw that Prince Cal-el and his legion were approaching the swamplands. She called on every manner of serpent to attack Prince Cal-el and the legion. She informed Lord Luciferous of her plan and he approved. Additionally, he, the Lord of Darkness, sent out a group of thieves to steal the supplies that Lady Samanthia had prepared for the legion, just in case the plan was unsuccessful. He would revel in their starvation should they get out of THIS one alive! He told the witch Zellina to proceed with her plan.
The little squirrel entered the window and paid tribute to the Evil Lord of Darkness and the Evil Witch Zellina. He told Lord Luciferous what he had told Princess Swissy and Lord Luciferous laughed his evil belly laugh. The little squirrel laughed along with him.
“Behead dem Lord Luciferous! Destwoy Pwince Caw-ewl, pwease! I wont to watch,” said the little squirrel.
“Your wish is granted!” exclaimed Lord Luciferous.
Chapter XVII

Prince Cal-el had ordered the troops to stop for the night and rest before crossing the swamp. All the men and women had gathered in a circle to pay tribute to Prince Cal-el’s Father. They were singing songs of worship and songs of tales of legends past. Slowly, the snakes started to slither out of the swamp toward the cheerful campers.
“AAHHHHEEEEEEEeeeeeee,” screamed one of the woman upon whose leg the snake slithered.
Sir Cameron and his men quickly drew their swords and started chopping the heads off of the attacking snakes. Prince Cal-el ordered the rest of the men to pick up limbs with which to strike the approaching snakes. They all worked valiantly trying to protect the female singers in the crowd.
As Prince Cal-el fought with the snakes who were slithering toward the camp, he stepped backwards. A coral snake bit him on the heel just as the evil witch Zellina had commanded. Soon, Prince Cal-el dropped to the ground.
Lord Astera pulled a metal tube from the machine which had a wooden back at the end. It had a mechanism that held a piece of flint, and had a striker bar which would create a spark when it hit the flint. Lord Astera fired the mechanism. The spark hit the bit of the mixture of potassium nitrate, sulfur, and charcoal and a loud report and a flash of light issued from the tube. The round piece of metal that Lord Astera had stuck in the end of the tube struck out like lightning, killing the coral snake. The women of the camp rushed to Prince Cal-el’s side to see what they could do.
While the group was occupied by the confusion, Lord Luciferous’ thieves slipped into the camp and stole all the rations that Lady Samanthia had prepared. They then quickly slipped away before they could be spotted. The evil witch Zellina cackled her evil laugh as she watched the events taking place in her crystal ball.


Chapter X




Up in the tower window appeared Princess Swissy’s face. She was looking at the countryside longingly, hoping to receive word from Prince Cal-el. Suddenly, the little squirrel scuttled up a vine of ivy that was growing from the base of the tower, up beyond the window. When the squirrel got close enough, he hopped onto the ledge of the window. His heart, hardened by his contemplation on the words of the evil buzzard, began to speak to Princess Swissy.
“Pwincess Swissy!” he said, “Pwince Cal-el is a bad man. He is Zellina’s boyfwiend and he’s fwirting wif all da wadies in da kingdom.”
Princess Swissy broke down and began to cry.
“Awso,” the little squirrel continued, “’cause Pwince Cal-el didn’t give me da names of dose he suspek…,,, suwspek, saspek,” he stammered, “thought might be wethponsibuw for damage to da kingduwm, a boy kiwed hisselwf.”
This was more than Princess Swissy could take, so she drank the cup of gall that had been supplied by the evil wizard Carcinoma Moriarty, the cup from which she had so long refused to drink.
Just as Princess Swissy finished the gall, she dropped the goblet to the floor. The goblet made a loud clang as it hit the floor. Suddenly, a large eagle who had been sent by Prince Cal-el and who had flown in on the winds of prayer, swooped down, snatched the little squirrel in its talons, flew off to the woods, and started to devour the pesky squirrel. At the last second, the eagle remembered that Prince Cal-el had requested that none of the messengers be harmed. This angered the eagle because he had witnessed the lies and exaggerations of the little squirrel. Deep down, though, he knew that Prince Cal-el was right. After all, this little squirrel, too, might later be saved from the mind and heart poisoning that had been devised by the Lord of Darkness and perpetrated by the evil witch Zellina. A poisoning which had spread throughout this evil land.
After the eagle let the little squirrel scurry away, the eagle flew high into the sky and flew as fast as he could to tell Prince Cal-el the news. After flying as high and fast as he could for as long as he could, the eagle descended to the top of the highest mountain for a much needed rest. He also knew that he would find Prince Cal-el’s Father there, and wanted to tell Him of the news. He landed in front of the Father, and bowed his head. Panting hardly, he spoke to the Father, “Princess Swissy,” he panted, barely able to breathe, “…drank Carcinoma… ‘pant, pant,’ Moriarty’s gall, ‘pant, pant,’ and I’m sure it was, ‘pant,’ POIsoned! ‘pant’.”
“Be of good heart,” the Father’s voice resonated. “I shall restore your strength. Take this news to Prince Cal-el as quickly as you can. He will know what to do. He is a good and faithful son.”
The Father then waved his hand and the eagle’s strength was restored. The eagle took off and soon realized that he felt better than he had ever felt in his life. He was flying higher and faster than he had ever flown in his life, and he knew that he would reach Prince Cal-el’s fortress in record time.

Chapter XI

Prince Cal-el ordered the troops to march in pairs, double-file, as it were. This was to hide their numbers while reducing the chance that one would be caught off-guard as would be possible if they were to march in single file. In the middle of the convoy marched Prince Cal-el with the machine to help guard it. Along with Prince Cal-el were Lord Astera, Sir Feudiferous, Sir Allen, Queen Sandralina, Sir Workious Dogiferous, Sir Arnoldus, and Princess Samirilla. The lot of them were surrounded and protected by Sir Cameron and his able clan. Overhead flew the great wizard Jojoseph der Vanderbuilt in what appeared to be a chariot of fire.
Before his section moved out, Prince Cal-el asked Lady Sassarosa and Lady Shadowkeria to gather the women of the village to pray for the group’s protection, victory, and that they all do the will of the Father. They both agreed and swiftly departed back to the village to gather the women in prayer.
Once the entire army had started moving and were positioned properly, Prince Cal-el gave the order to halt and kneel in prayer. Prince Cal-el then yelled to the great wizard Jojoseph to broadcast his prayer through the strange devices on his “chariot” which could send the sound of his voice to all the troops. The mighty wizard waved his arms, and an image of Prince Cal-el appeared every several yards so that all could see and hear him. When Prince Cal-el received the signal from the mighty wizard, he began.
“Oh mighty Father, strengthen us and protect us on this valliant quest. Give us the courage to shrink not under fire and to strike not in anger. Give us the patience to carry out your perfect will that as many as will shall be saved from your mighty wrath. Watch over our troops and over Princess Swissy until we can attempt our rescue of her. Let the outcome be as your perfect will dictates. When Princess Swissy is in need of help, please swiftly send us word. In Your holy name we pray. Amen.”
Just as Prince Cal-el finished his prayer, the eagle swooped down out of the sky and perched himself on the machine.
“Prince Cal-el,” he panted, “Princess Swissy was misled by a little squirrel and drank of Sir Carcinoma Moriarty’s gall. Your Father said that you would know what to do.”
“Thank you my great, wise friend,” said Prince Cal-el.
The prince summoned all of the energy fromj his Father he could contain, then broadcast his request for all to pray for Princess Swissy’s recovery. He then sent messengers to the village asking Lady Sassarosa and Lady Shadokeria to have the women pray for her. He sent Sir Allen to gather the remaining men to pray for her. Sir Allen mounted his steed and quickly departed.
Sir Allen reached the domain of Lord Bocephus and gave him the news to spread, then returned to Prince Cal-el’s side. Once Sir Allen had returned, Prince Cal-el said, “You may all rise and proceed.” With that, the group began to move toward their far away destinatio9n.
Prince Cal-el asked the eagle if he was strong enough to take word to the brave little bird, who had lost his wife, and to ask him to take word to Princess Swissy that help was on the way. The strong eagle replied that he was up to the task, and, with a huge stroke of his wings, was off to tell the bird to carry on the message.

Chapter XII

Back in the tower, the Lord of Darkness had arrived to view Sir Carcinoma’s handiwork. Viewing Princess Swissy lying motionless on the floor, he laughed his deep, evil belly laugh.
“Good work Sir Carcinoma Moriarty,” he approved. “Take one of m wenches as your reward.”
“Thank you Lord Luciferous,” he said on bended knee.
With that, the two left the tower… Lord Luciferous to his throne and Sir Carcinoma to his reward.
Just after the two had left the room, a glow of light enveloped Princess Swissy and she began to regain consciousness. As she awoke, the little bird flew in the window and landed in front of her face.
“Take heart Princess Swissy,” he chirped, “Prince Cal-el has raised an army and they are on their way at this very moment. It may take awhile for them to get here, but they are on their way. Prince Cal-el sends his love and sends this song, one of his favorite of favorites, to help you as you wait. It was written by the royal couple Kenneth and Eva Logginoria.” The bird began to sing a song called “Wait a Little While” which eased Princess Swissy’s mind. When the bird finished the song and saw that Princess Swissy was more alert, he said, “Now here is a song that Prince Cal-el wanted me to sing you from a famous play.” He then began to sing “Somewhere in Time” to her. Princess Swissy’s heart smiled and she began to feel better. She asked the bird to tell Prince Cal-el that she would be anxiously awaiting his arrival.

Chapter XIII

The troops marched their way through the woods and came upon a clearing. One of the Cameron Clan had gone ahead to chop away the brush. Suddenly, he was jumped from behind by two of Lord Luciferous’ henchmen. One of them drove a dagger deep into his left kidney. The clan member let out a deafening scream, then turned and chopped off the arm of the henchman as he fell to the ground. The arm fell upon a pile of leaves, the hand still clutching the dagger.
“Arrrgh!” screamed the now one-armed henchman. “My arm! MY ARM!!!”
“Be glad it was just your arm,” the other henchman said.” Good thing we caught him from behind. We would never have beaten one of the Cameron Clan in a fair fight.”
“Shut up and tie me a tourniquet!” screamed the one armed man who was clenching his arm stub, trying to stop the bleeding.
As the second henchman was tying a tourniquet on the first, Sir John Cameron, who had heard the scream of his clan member, came charging up the cleared path and cleanly took off the head of the henchman tying the tourniquet. Just as he was about to strike the second henchman down, Prince Cal-el, who had also heard the scream, appeared and saw the angry Sir Cameron about to strike the second henchman down.
“Wait!” yelled Prince Cal-el “It is written that he who lives by the sword shall die by the sword. One is dead and he’s lost an arm. Don’t strike this one down, but let him live on with his shame. Still, it was your clansman who was struck down, so do as you will.”
The one-armed henchman grimaced and waited for Sir Cameron to strike. Sir Cameron once again pulled back his sword and prepared to strike he henchman down. Just before he swung, Prince Cal-el’s words hit him. Instead of striking, he yelled, “BOO!” The one armed henchman tripped on his own feet trying to run away.
“I’m proud of your restraint,” said Prince Cal-el. “It takes a strong man not to give in to the temptation to get revenge.”
“I’d rather have struck him down,” said Sir Cameron. “I know you were right, but won‘t he go telling the others that we are coming?”
“I’m counting on it,” said Prince Cal-el. “When the others hear how one man bested two of his best henchmen, it will strike fear into their hearts.”


Chapter XIV

After getting news from the one-armed henchman, Lord Luciferous called for a squad of his best fighters to ambush the approaching legion, warning them, “Don’t underestimate their power. The Power is strong in this group.”
The squad assembled and took off after Prince Cal-el and his legion. They planned to ambush them just after they crossed the river when they would be tired. The area on the dark side of the woods was filled with brush that would well conceal their squadron until it was too late for Prince Cal-el and his group. With their numbers and the element of surprise on their side, they thought this would be an easy task, but they became worried after word spread about how one man bested Lord Luciferous’ two best henchmen. As they took their positions on the dark side of the bank, some of them began to tremble.
“What about what Lord Luciferous said about not underestimating this legion?” asked one soldier of the squad.
“Quiet, you fool!” said the squad leader. “They have no chance against The Dark Side of The Power. Besides, they will be tired from crossing the river. Now, get back into position before I feed you to the wild dogs.”
“Yes, m’lord,” said the soldier.
As they waited for Prince Cal-el’s legion to start crossing the river, they saw a burst of steam go up into the air. They were amazed to see the large machine deploy the bags around itself, which were burlap covered with a coating made from rubber tree plants and carbon from coal. They watched the legion board the vessel, then saw Lord Astera pull a lever. Two paddle wheels deployed in the rear and started turning, propelling the vessel and its crew easily across the river.
The squad leader was furious. Now Prince Cal-el’s legion would not be tired from crossing the river. The evil witch Zellina had not foreseen this. He only hoped that the element of surprise would be enough.
The squad leader waited for the craft to land and waited for Prince Cal-el and his legion to un-board the vessel. Prince Cal-el and his legion were now in the center of the clearing surrounded by the thick brush which hid the evil forces.
“ATTACK!” screamed the squad leader.
Prince Cal-el heard the cry and saw the squad charging from the bushes. He ran up to the machine and pulled a lever. A wooden cover dropped back and long brass pipes rose up from the center of the machine. A keyboard appeared on the side nearest Prince Cal-el. Prince Cal-el bowed his head and prayed to his Father. Sir William Quincy stepped up to the keyboard and played the beginning of Toccata and Fugue in D minor. As he played, steam and sound bellowed out of the organ pipes.
When the squad heard the sound and saw the steam bellowing out of the machine, they tightly clasped their hands over their ears. Such fear was struck into their hearts that they all turned and ran as fast as they could, trying to get away from the awesome display. After they had run for about a mile, they suddenly started to realize what would await them at the hands of Lord Luciferous when they returned defeated.

Chapter XV

Princess Swissy feared for Prince Cal-el and his legion of musicians. She knew first-hand of Lord Luciferous’ evil and powers of darkness that had tarnished this land. She had once been captured and tortured by and evil, demonic Orc that had been sent by Lord Luciferous to kill her. He had beaten her and broken her body. She had noticed his eyes glowing red just before she passed out.
After she had passed out, the evil Orc left her for dead. This had been the Orc’s downfall, for once Lord Luuciferous learned that Princess Swissy still lived, he had the ork slowly tortured in every conceivable way, then had the broken-spirited Orc dipped in honey and staked to a huge mound of fire ants. Lord Luciferous had watched with delight, basking in the screams, until all that was left of the Orc was his skull and bones.
Princess Swissy, in her fear, sent word through the animal network trying to discourage Prince Cal-el. She was hoping to save him by causing him to turn back. A few days later, though, she received a message through the eagle. Prince Cal-el had given her this message:
“My Dearest Princess Swissy,
I understand your fear, but know this. I am steadfast in my cause and shall endure until the end. I wi8ll not stop until either I rescue you and make you my bride or I am slain in the process. I know that it is the will of my Father and that we were made for one another. Our spirits are already one.
Love,
Prince Cal-el”
While this made Princess Swissy happy, this made her fear for him and the legion that much stronger. In her condition, weakened by Siir Carcinoma Moriarty’s poison and torture, she could barely move from her bed. Just after the eagle left, the pesky little squirrel crawled through the window.
“Watcha’ doin’ Pwincess Swissy? Watcha’ doin’, huh? What? Whatcha’ lyin there for? Watcha’ doin’, huh?”
“Please leave me alone. I’m not feeling well,” said Princess Swissy.
“Aw come on, Princess Swissy! Watcha doin’, huh?”
“I’m just lying here waiting for Prince Cal-el to come try to rescue me, if you MUST know!”
“But Pwincess Swissy, what if he gits kiwwed on da way? Huh? What if he don’t wike da way you wook? He’s had some vewy pwetty giwlfriends.”
“Get out of here RIGHT NOW!” yelled Princess Swissy.
“I hope Pwince Caw-ewl gits his head cut off!” yelled the little squirrel as he scurried out the window.
When the squirrel had left, Princess Swissy kneeled beside the bed. She prayed to the Father to protect Prince Cal-el and the legion of musicians. She then prayed for strength and healing so that she could endure the torture of Sir Carcinoma Moriarty, at least until Prince Cal-el could attempt his rescue. She then returned to her bed and lay down to rest.

Chapter XVI

The evil witch Zellina worked up her numerology and astrology charts on Prince Cal-el. Seeing that he was an Aquarius like Achilles, she decided that the heel would be a good place to strike him.
Gazing into her crystal ball, she saw that Prince Cal-el and his legion were approaching the swamplands. She called on every manner of serpent to attack Prince Cal-el and the legion. She informed Lord Luciferous of her plan and he approved. Additionally, he, the Lord of Darkness, sent out a group of thieves to steal the supplies that Lady Samanthia had prepared for the legion, just in case the plan was unsuccessful. He would revel in their starvation should they get out of THIS one alive! He told the witch Zellina to proceed with her plan.
The little squirrel entered the window and paid tribute to the Evil Lord of Darkness and the Evil Witch Zellina. He told Lord Luciferous what he had told Princess Swissy and Lord Luciferous laughed his evil belly laugh. The little squirrel laughed along with him.
“Behead dem Lord Luciferous! Destwoy Pwince Caw-ewl, pwease! I wont to watch,” said the little squirrel.
“Your wish is granted!” exclaimed Lord Luciferous.
Chapter XVII

Prince Cal-el had ordered the troops to stop for the night and rest before crossing the swamp. All the men and women had gathered in a circle to pay tribute to Prince Cal-el’s Father. They were singing songs of worship and songs of tales of legends past. Slowly, the snakes started to slither out of the swamp toward the cheerful campers.
“AAHHHHEEEEEEEeeeeeee,” screamed one of the woman upon whose leg the snake slithered.
Sir Cameron and his men quickly drew their swords and started chopping the heads off of the attacking snakes. Prince Cal-el ordered the rest of the men to pick up limbs with which to strike the approaching snakes. They all worked valiantly trying to protect the female singers in the crowd.
As Prince Cal-el fought with the snakes who were slithering toward the camp, he stepped backwards. A coral snake bit him on the heel just as the evil witch Zellina had commanded. Soon, Prince Cal-el dropped to the ground.
Lord Astera pulled a metal tube from the machine which had a wooden back at the end. It had a mechanism that held a piece of flint, and had a striker bar which would create a spark when it hit the flint. Lord Astera fired the mechanism. The spark hit the bit of the mixture of potassium nitrate, sulfur, and charcoal and a loud report and a flash of light issued from the tube. The round piece of metal that Lord Astera had stuck in the end of the tube struck out like lightning, killing the coral snake. The women of the camp rushed to Prince Cal-el’s side to see what they could do.
While the group was occupied by the confusion, Lord Luciferous’ thieves slipped into the camp and stole all the rations that Lady Samanthia had prepared. They then quickly slipped away before they could be spotted. The evil witch Zellina cackled her evil laugh as she watched the events taking place in her crystal ball.


Chapter XVIII

Prince Cal-el lay unconscious, but he did not die. The women of the camp prayed for him, and suddenly the good faerie Beautifila appeared. She saw Prince Cal-el breathing erratically and called on the Holy Spirit to heal him. With a wave of her magic wand, his breathing returned to normal and his eyes opened. The women bound his wound and brought him some herbal tea that Queen Sandralina had supplied them in case of such an emergency. When they saw that Prince Cal-el’s strength had returned, they sang praises to his Father. Lord Astera presented Prince Cal-el with a cane that he had fashioned from an oak root and the legion was ready to make its way through the swamp.
The evil witch saw that Prince Cal-el was still alive and let out a long shrill moan. She cursed her life: She cursed her magic: She cursed herself. With that, the evil Lord Luciferous ordered her men to capture her and throw her into the sulfur-tar pits. Her end was near.
Lord Astera fitted the machine with belts made of chain mail and rubber and it easily made its way through the swamplands. When the group stopped for a meal, they realized that all the supplies had been taken. Seeing that the legion had nothing to eat, Prince Cal-el called on Sir Cameron and his men to hunt for meat and sent Workinius Dogius to search for edible plants and herbs. The Camerons came up with some alligator and some wild boar, and Workinius Dogius made a salad of various and sundry leafy vegetables from which he made a large salad. He pulled some mushrooms that he had found from the pouch in which he had collected them and sliced them into the salad. Over all, this had been a fine day’s work.

Chapter XIX

The next few days were easier as they walked across the plains. Prince Cal-el’s ankle was healing by the power of the Father, thanks to Beautifila’s prayers. Prince Cal-el seemed to get stronger with each step he took. He had the look of a man determined: Of one who would let nothing stand in his way. He called to his Father and asked a blessing upon this band of musicians which he had chosen to lead the battle. “I pray that the deaths will be few and the blessings many. I pray for a swift and peaceful resolution to this situation, though I know that it might take something more. Let not my will be done, but yours, Father. If we can end this conflict without senseless death, then strengthen us to the task. If, however, the situation requires that force must be used rather than peaceful means, I am sure that Sir Cameron and his Clan will provide the arms you desire. Let not our will be done, but yours, my Father. So be it.
Let the hunters and gatherers provide us with enough food for the rest of the journey so that we might not have to make another stop except to rest at the base of Lord Luciferous’ mountain. Watch over us and protect us as we attempt this noble feat. In Jesus name, so be it.
The legion made it easily over the plains and came up to some hills. Two of Sir Cameron’s men took point and tested the hills for ambushes. All they saw was a squaky little squirrel who was taunting them saying, “Youwr gonna’ git kiwlded! Youwr gonna’ git kiwlded!”
“Bahhh!” said the two after they ran after the squirrel, slicing away. The little squirrel ran faster than he ever had before, and somehow found the cleft of a rock in which to hide. Sir Cameron’s two men looked left and right, foreword and backward, but they couldn’t find where the little squirrel had hidden.
Sir John Cameron rushed to the front screaming “I’ll get that little squirrel if it’s the last thing I DO!” BLAST that darn little squirrel! All he does is cause trouble for us, the Prince, and the Princess!
Unable to find the squirrel, he started sticking his sword into the clefts of the rocks, yelling, “I know you’re in there somewhere!” “Come out and die like a ma- uh a squirrel! He shove his sword deep into cleft after cleft and came near splitting the little squirrel in two, but the little squirrel made not a sound. When Sir Cameron’s men had left, the little squirrel let out a deep breath, combed his hair over where it had been split by Sir John’s blade, and scuttled out of the cleft. With that he was off to the dark castle.

Chapter XX

The legion now traversed the hills and went down into the valley where some barron woods would just give them enough cover to set up camp. Prince Cal-el wanted to be sure that the vocalists and warriors had gotten their rest.
And so, Prince Cal-el and his noble tribe came into a clearing. Everybody understood what this space was. It was a trap. Not just a physical trap, but a crucible, a place where both past and present were burned away in the flames of fate until only destiny, or the ashes of destiny were left. Their hearts beat louder in their chests, and all manner of quiet evil assuaged their senses on every side. They were alone, with nothing more than each other and their unquenchable belief in their cause. Here Prince Cal-el knew he would either die, or succeed in vanquishing Lord Luciferous and rescue his beloved. The former was unthinkable, not just for Prince Cal-el himself, but for the fate of his comrades and his true love.
The odds were against them. But they always had been. Throughout history, men and women of true valour have marched, heads high, into situations they knew to be hopeless and sometimes, just sometimes, marched out the other side victorious.
Every strange creature beyond imagination and horror lurked in the shadows now, drawing closer, sucking the light and the air from the clearing, stealing closer to Prince Cal-el and his merry band of men. He knew that his men were afraid, as he was himself, but he also felt something else running like a gentle undercurrent in their midst: a resolution to fight evil to the end.
And so the noble Cal-el, gathering his friends around him, and feeling his enemies gather around them, spoke thus:
“My friends, we are faced with an implacable foe bent on our destruction. We have known this since the very start of our adventures together. And yet we stayed together. We have marched into the dark places of the human soul, into the cold winds of the north, the burning heat of the south, into the shadow of our own fear, the limits of our faith, and now we have reached the domain of our foe, the domain of evil. Here we stand, we happy few, awaiting our fate. The Last Battle . Good against Evil. Light against Darkness. Thought against Prejudice. Kindness against Cruelty.”
“I know you are all frightened, as am I. Fear is not the corollary of cowardice. A man who feels no pain and fears no injury is not brave, he is merely senseless. A man who is prepared to face both and yet still not turn away from the fight is brave. We fight, not because we were press-ganged, nor coerced, nor brainwashed, but of our own free will. We know that from time to time, the Tree of Liberty must be watered with the blood of tyrants and good men. If that is our fate, so be it! One final warning, should the dragon appear, draw not your blade, for dragons are attracted to shiny things.”
At these words, there was restless murmuring beyond the clearing, a slight shaft of light and vents of fresh air somehow penetrated the engulfing evil. Prince Cal-el now stood straight and proud, and bid his men do the same.
“My friends, how do we fight that which we do not understand? With wisdom. How do we oppose the forces of ignorance? With knowledge. How do we resist the most callous of enemies? With heart! How do we fight an unbeatable foe? With reason. NOW!”
And to his enemy’s astonishment, Prince Cal-el threw away the sword he had carried to slay Lord Luciferous and picked up an infinitely more complex weapon. Those who survived the battle would recount what happened next to their children and grandchildren, awe-struck with each re-telling. Cal-el found within himself strange musical patterns emerging from the anger, fear, love and engulfing darkness of that place, and gave expression to these forces through his guitar. Suddenly the musicians caught the scent, and soon the strange riff took on a life of its own. Music, such has never been heard before or since, issued up, louder and louder. The monsters attacked at once. Dragons, squirrels, wild beasts no other had ever laid eyes on, all advanced, sharp claws and teeth bared, but only the dragon could penetrate the musicians’ circle. Rock crumbled, the very air changed, water ran upstream, gravity lightened. The dragon dove straight down for Prince Cal-el, and Sir Cameron pulled out his sword, flashing the light from the torches into the dragon’s eyes.
“NOOOOooo! Remember what I said! Dragons are ATTRACted to shiny objects,” but before he finished his sentence, Sir Cameron had been taken up in the feiry jaws of the dragon’s mouth. It suddenly dawned on Cal-el what Sir Cameron had done. He had given his life so that Prince Cal-el might live. “No greater gift hath mortal man than for a friend to die.” echoed in Prince Cal-el’s mind.
“SOUND THE TRUMPETS!” Prince Cal-el Charged.
The trumpets sounded followed by the voices of the legion which raised higher and higher until the stone around the wall began to crumble. The resonant frequency had been met and the wall was in ruins.
“Play the SONG!” Prince Cal-el yelled to the crowd. “Sing at the top of your VOIces!”
The music started as a tentative motif now grew to an ethereal anthem, the musicians all caught up in the mysterious mathematics of faith and bravery. Light and darkness clashed, thunder and lightning beat across the land in rhythm. The musicians played harder and louder, themes interlocking and an unknown chorale rising from the very earth itself, as if every departed soul now came to their aid. Luciferous trod forward, on uncertain feet, and penetrated the brave little army.
Pulling an unknown weapon from his tunic, Prince Cal-el could see that Luciferous was both furious and terrified.
“So, it comes to this final contest, Prince Cal-el, so be it!” And they saw that Luciferous had a violin, which he began to play. Suddenly the discordant melody he picked out skilfully with his bow was taken up by the hoards of monsters and every dark corner of the earth, but Prince Cal-el and his band countered with every ounce of energy. Melody and dissonance did battle, for how long, no-one could say.
But the Prince and his men were tired, and their music began to fade beneath the assault of Luciferous and his hellish choir. The protective bubble around the group began to dissipate, and suddenly the dark creatures were amongst them. It was surely the end. Prince Cal-el heard the awful sound of his own friends being attacked by the dragon, and the pesky squirrel had made an appearance, having worked his evil on Princess Swissy, he now wished to attend Prince Cal-el’s demise. They were all driven to their knees by the terrible fury of Luciferous’ Army of Darkness. They felt themselves dying into the Earth.
“So, die, Prince Cal-el!” screamed Luciferous, fire now assailing Cal-el and his dying band.
“I have dweamed of this moment,” spat the Squirrel, and for a moment, Cal-el looked into the evil little creature’s eyes and saw that it was not a squirrel at all, but the demon beneath the fur now surfaced, in victory.
Defeated, Prince Cal-el looked around his battered, dying friends, and saw that they were still smiling. With his last vestiges of strength, Cal-el struck up a mysterious song that had been whirling, half-formed in his mind all his life. Only the terrible sadness of these final moments of his life gave focus to the tune, and suddenly it was clear. A mighty series of chords suddenly radiated outwards, and again, the musicians took up the tune.
And then something magnificent happened: the whole world, the whole universe, seemingly resonated to a new beat. A beautiful voice echoed across the void, a woman’s voice: The Song of Swissy, a song of wordless notes, taken up by a host of female voices, grew from Prince Cal-el’s riff. And Luciferous suddenly collapsed in agony. The music was too beautiful for him and his dark comrades to bear, for not only can evil never understand pure beauty and goodness, but it is destroyed by it, burnt away by the higher mathematics that represents love, truth, beauty, faith and intelligence.
The land ceased to tremble, and Prince Cal-el and his musicians opened their eyes, to find the clearing was empty, their foes vanquished, and a new sun, greater and more glorious than they had ever seen, rose on the horizon.
The Great Battle was over. Faith had won the day.


Chapter XXI

Prince Cal-el, Lord Astera, and Sir Feudiferous stormed the tower where Princess Swissy had been held. They fought their way through the door’s guards, and Sir Feudiferous looked up a floor plan and found a secret passage through which they could bypass the rest of the guards who remained in the high tower. When they got to the locked door where Princess Swissy was being held, Lord Astera pulled a device he had made of some bent and hammered wire and picked the lock. When the door swun open, Prince Cal-el swooped down and picked Princess Swissy off of the cold floor. He prayed to his Father, then bent down and gave her a long, warm, wet kiss. As they kissed, light glowed all around them. When they finished, Princess Swissy awoke.
Would Prince Cal-el be able to overcome the damage that the Lord of Darkness had done to her? Would she marry Prince Cal-el and return with him to his kingdom? Would they both stay here in this miserable land, rebuild the castle, re-plant the trees, grass, and flowers? He would give Princess Swissy a short while to recover before putting these questions to her. He understood what an ordeal this had been for her and wanted her mind to be clear to think… so the legion awaited.
Chapter XXII



When Princess Swissy awoke and came out of her stupor, Prince Cal-el got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a rather unpretentious engagement ring to put on her finger and awaited her reply.
The group awaited expectantly for Princess Swissy’s answer. It was so quiet that you could hear a feather drop to the hard stone floor.
A big smile came to Princess Swissy’s face.
“Yes!” she exclaimed, just as she thought the pause was long enough.
“Ahhhhhhhh.” gasped the crowd. “Let’s hear it for Prince Cal-el and Princess Swissy! Hooray!!!”
Prince Cal-el looked Princess Swissy in the eyes, stared a moment, then kissed her so passionately that the sun blushed. Afterwards, he posed to her the questions that were on his mind about where they should live and what to do with this land. Princess Swissy whispered her answers into Prince Cal-el’s ear.
“It is settled,” said Prince Cal-el. We shall return to my kingdom and be married.”

Chapter XXIII




When the fearless warriors returned home, they were met by cheering crowds. Prince Cal-el, upon returning to his throne, sent for the kingdom’s finest tailor and seamstresses. He ordered glorious hand embroidered white silk robes made for those who had served him so well in battle. He then drew up the parchments for the awards.
Prince Cal-el ordered that his city be ornamented in red and white. Red for the blood spilled in battle and white for the purity of the cause for the kingdom. All in the kingdom were invited to attend the ceremonies.



When Prince Cal-el and the others were gathered for the ceremony, the trumpets sounded. At the top of the stage stood Prince Cal-el and Princess Swissy adorned in white, wearing their sparkling crowns.
“Come forward brave friends,” said Prince Cal-el in a majestic tone.
Prince Cal-el presented each one of them with a brilliant white robe as they stepped forward. The crowd gasped in awe at the beauty and majesty of the heroes. Prince Cal-el then called them forward one by one to receive their parchments and their rewards.
Prince Cal-el named Sir Feudiferous Head of Education and Keeper of Historical Records. He named Lord Astera Head of Business and Technology. He named the Cameron Clan Keepers of the Realm and had a cathedral built for Sir John, who had given his life for Prince Cal-el. He appointed Lady Samanthia Inquisitor of Cuisine and sent her to foreign lands to discover new recipes. He named Queen Sandralina Keeper of All Things Sacred. He named Sir Workinus Dogiferous Head of Agriculture and Medicinal Herbs. He named the good faerie Beautifila Keeper of the Sword of the Spirit. To Sir Quinby, he gave the title of Minister of Music. He presented a non-aggression pact signed by Queen Ari-Anjaela and himself. Afterward, they all stood in a row on the stage and bowed to the crowd. The crowd erupted in cheers. Sir Feudiferous walked to Prince Cal-el’s side and a minister gathered the heroes together in the chapel for their parts in the royal wedding.



Princess Swissy was adorned in a beautiful silk dress with flowing sleeves. The dress had ornate embroidered flowers with tiny pearls which sparkled in the light. Upon her head was placed a crown of hand-cut Austrian crystal and about her neck was a matching crystal necklace that glimmered and shone. The crystals were set in beautiful gold lattice that matched the golden yellow of her hair. Light danced about her head, creating the vision of a beautiful aura.



The royal couple recited the wedding vows they had written from their hearts.

“I reach forth my hand and ask you to put your hand in mine so that we may walk together through this life. I will be with you through the good and bad, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, though joy and boredom, doing all I can to make things better as we go. I will support you in all you do, and give you the freedom you need to grow. I, Prince Cal-el, take you, Princess Swissy, to be my lawful wedded wife. My love for you will grow and strengthen each day as long as we both shall live, and throughout eternity. Our union represents the bond between Christ and His church, and our love light will shine on as an example to all throughout this life and into the next,” said Prince Cal-el.

“I, Princess Swissy, take you, Prince Cal-el, to be my lawful wedded husband. Before God who brought us together, I hold your hand in mine, and promise, as you have been by my side through my darkest hours, so will I be a light in your life. I will lift you up and support you through laughter and through tears. As you have cared for me in times of infirmity, so will I keep you sheltered when storms arise. I will comfort and console you. I will be the rock that you stand on, the staff that you lean on, and the wings that allow you to fly. As you have inspired me to follow my dreams, so will I strive to help you achieve your goals. I will encourage you in your endeavors and nourish your spirit as we walk through this life together. As you have loved me, so will I love you. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again,” said Princess Swissy.

“May I have the rings?” recited the minister.

Sir Feudiferous reached into his coat pocket and produced a box covered in purple velvet and presented it to the minister. Inside the box were two gold rings which had been purified by fire seven times by Lord Astera. The minister took the rings and blessed them.


“With this ring, I thee wed,” said Prince Cal-el as he put the ring on Princess Swissy’s finger.

“With this ring, I thee wed,” said Princess Swissy as she put the ring on Prince Cal-el’s finger.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” said the minister. “You may now kiss the bride.”

Prince Cal-el and Princess Swissy gazed into each other’s eyes and embraced one another. Prince Cal-el gave Princess Swissy a small peck on the lips, winked at Sir Feudiferous (having done things properly), then gave Princess Swissy a kiss so pationate that all the couples who attended the wedding gave birth to new children nine months later.
At the magnificent reception, Sir Feudiferous served a new beer that he had created after accidentally burning the hops. He called it Genesis. Prince Cal-el lauded his achievement.
The crowd gathered to throw rice as they departed for their honeymoon. Princess Swissy through the bouquet in the air and the girls clamored for it. When the garter was thrown, it landed right on Lord Astera’s head. He grabbed it instinctively, then a mournful look came over his face when he realize what it meant. The crowd threw the rice as Prince Cal-el and Princess Swissy climbed into their carriage. As the royal couple departed, it dragged ale mugs that Sir Feudiferous and Lord Astera had tied to the back as a practical joke. A similar practice lives on to this day.
Prince Cal-el and Princess Swissy honeymooned in a city in France. The stories of their love there lived on so long that the city was soon known as “The City of Love” or “The City of Romance,” which we now know to have been Paris.
Upon their return, Prince Cal-el and Princess Swissy combined their forces and appointed Sir Feudiferous and Lord Astera to create a plan to re-seed and refertilize the dark kingdom from which they had rescued Princess Swissy.



Sir Feudiferous and Lord Astera created new methods and machines for planting that changed the cold, gray, baron land



Into a rich, green, fertile land.



Their methods and machines made it possible for all in the kingdom to be fed. Prince Cal-el ordered that these plans and new technologies be shared with any other kingdom who was interested.
When word of the brave deeds and generosity spread, and the world heard that an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scottsman had joined together for such noble causes, the whole world set aside their differences and came together in peace.
Prince Cal-el and Princess Swissy’s love grew and was more pure than water from freshly melted snow, deeper than the water in the Mariana Trench, and stronger than a diamond made of purest coal, compressed by the Earth for a million years… and they all lived happily ever after.

The End

Copyright © 2006 Cal Jennings