FlashFiction - Suzy
I was flying my nightly patrol over the United States when I first met Suzy. It was new moon on that starlit night and I was enjoying the feel of the ocean breeze flapping my cape against my legs as I listened for signs of trouble. Suddenly, I heard a scream coming from the light house.
I quickly swooped down when my telescopic vision saw her hanging from the light house railing. I grabbed her in my arms and she clung tightly to my neck. I flew up and over the rail and set her down to safety. She introduced herself.
"Hi, Superman. I'm Suzy. Thanks for saving me. I guess I was a little dizzy."
"No problem, ma'am," I said.
As I was about to fly back off and resume my patrol, she offered me a cigarette. Being mesmerized by the feel of her buxom breasts as I had held her, I thought, "What's the harm? After all, I'm Superman. A little smoke isn't going to harm me."
I gently took the cigarette from her outstretched hand and lit it with my heat vision. The cigarette smelled a little funny, but she told me that it was imported tobacco, so I ignored it. She told me to hold the smoke after I inhaled it then pass it to her. Strange request, it seemed.
I did as Suzy said and found something strange. Even my super lungs couldn't contain smoke. I let it out with a cough that blew her hair back and she giggled. She inhaled the strange smelling cigarette and held it and passed it back to me. Suddenly, she coughed, too.
"Go on. Take another drag, she said, so I did."
A few minutes later, we were both laughing. I was feeling really strange, so I got her phone number and told her I needed to resume my patrol.
"Up, up, and away," I said as I took off into the sky waving at Suzy and she waving at me.
I was really starting to feel funny now. I flew past a large church and ran into the bell tower causing a huge CRASH CLANG CLANG CLANG. I did the best I could to patch it up quickly before anyone got there then decided I should head back home.
Up, up, and away, into the air again, this time deciding to fly very slow so no one would notice. As I arrived back at the Kent farm, I crashed into the corn silo, knocking it to the ground. Hurriedly, I cut down some trees with my heat vision, almost causing a forest fire which I then had to blow out with my super breath. I carved the trees into supports for the silo and righted it again.
It was then that I realized I no longer lived on the Kent Farm, but Metropolis. I started laughing and laughing and laughed so loud that I woke up the neighbors 10 miles away. Boy was my face red.
What the heck kind of imported tobacco was that, anyway?
Copyright © 2011 Cal Jennings
