Tuesday, March 2, 2010

7 Years Ago Today

Dec 19, '08 5:49 PM


Diane

diane

Today is a bit of a sad day for me. Seven years ago today, Diane passed away. I had hoped she would make it to Christmas, but she didn't. I had brought Christmas to her a little early just in case.

She was at a hospice center in Houston. It was a very nice, very expensive center. She had a private room with a beautiful view. We had put a small Christmas tree in the room for her.

I had gone home the previous night to feed the dogs and take care of a few things around the house since she seemed to be doing relatively well. I got a call from her on the morning of the 19th and she seemed to be in good spirits. She asked for a few things and I told her I would find them and bring them to her.

Just as I had found the things she asked for and was headed out to the car, I got a phone call from her dad, telling me that she had passed away. It was a long drive from Texas City to the hospice center where she was. It took me about an hour to get there and find parking. When I got there, her family was upset that it took me so long. I wasn't doing too well myself at that time and was having to use a motorized cart to get around, but they didn't consider that. I guess they were just upset from Diane's passing.

I went to her room and saw her and gave her cold lips a kiss goodbye. It was a pretty difficult thing to experience, especially after losing my 5 closest friends and my dog, Samanta, earlier that year.

If I don't seem especially joyous around Christmas, perhaps this will help you understand why.
In addition to Diane's death, not knowing Jill's condition has compounded that grief. Having gone through it, being disabled and spending every single day of Diane's demise with her, it's harder not knowing how Jill is doing. I know what to expect. I know the stages. I know the difficulty of the treatments and the stretching of the esophagus. I've been though it. Not being able to help and comfort makes things pretty unbearable for me. Anyway, this is about Diane, not Jill, but I thought you should know in case I seem unusually harsh or bitter some days. Back to Diane.

Diane and I had some good times over the years. We were about as different as night and day in many ways, which made the first five years pretty difficult. Once we got all our difficulties worked out and she decided she wanted to get married, though, things were pretty nice, except for her occasional flings. They didn't happen often, though, so it was bearable.

Here is a picture from one of those good times. I had a better one, but this one seems to be the only one that survives. Diane didn't have her head positioned right and I don't have the expression on my face that I had in the other one when we were ready, but here it is anyway:

diane, cal, renaissance, festival

Merry Christmas

Love, Hope, Peace, & Christ Is With Us All,

Cal-el

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