Wednesday, August 14, 2013

I'm In Limbo

Yes, I'm in limbo.  You wouldn't think it possible, would you?  Still, here I am, floating in a void, nothing to see, nothing to do, nothing to look forward to, nothing interesting to talk about... I'm just in limbo.  In fact, I'm not sure how or why I'm typing this blog.

Unfortunately for me, there seem to be a lot of allergens in limbo.  I've been floating around sneezing with my nose running.  I'm glad I had a box of tissues with me when I was zapped into limbo.  At least sneezing and wiping my nose is something to do now that I think about it.  I guess limbo isn't a TOTAL bore.

The one woman in the world who I thought would never betray me... did. My guess is that she got in contact with some other person from high school whom she admired.  I'm so used to that happening by now that it barely phases me.  It pisses me off a little, but other than that, it's just the same old boring story of my love life.  Now I've decided to just wait for my death alone... which would only be a problem if it's going to be a long way off.  I've gotten used to being alone so it's not much of a problem for me anymore.


I'm in limbo. I'm in the middle of nowhere. No friends to call on me. No ability to go anywhere. No future to look forward to. No money to do anything. No way to get my bottom teeth pulled. I'll just float here letting my bottom teeth rot, poisoning my system and further damaging my heart until I leave limbo forever.


Everything is fine. I'm in limbo.



5 comments:

Unknown said...

Take it easy, Cal.
People are overrated.

What excites you these days? What are you into? Because for me, that's how I keep going when everything seems empty.

I hate people that give advice. Forget everything I just said. Except the "take it easy" part.

Space Eagle said...

You know, Katy... right now there is nothing that interests me. I haven't played guitar in about a year and lost my calluses and just don't seem to have the drive to pick it back up. There's no music in my heart or soul over anything so writing music is out. I've become bored with politics because it's gotten to the point that I've already said all I have to say about that. No one listens anyway.

I can't get in touch with my feelings... ANY feelings. As I remember, that's pretty normal after a triple bypass.

I am getting stronger, though not quite yet back to normal. I would like to get out of the house by myself but I can't afford to get my windshield wiper motor replaced so I can get an inspection sticker. I really don't have anywhere to go around here, though. I'm not a veteran so I can't go to the VFW hall.

I used to like to read but now I pick up a book, read a few pages, and lose interest. I still read some on the Internet but that's getting difficult now that I'm getting cataracts. I have two of them... in my left eye if I remember right.

I don't have the money for electronics projects anymore. I used to like to experiment and discover things not mentioned in the manuals.

I don't know. I have no desire. Nothing interests me anymore. Maybe it's temporary.

If there's anyone whose advice I value, it's yours. I'm just having a little trouble right now because I look forward and see no future. I will definitely take your advice on the "take it easy" part. My current condition is physically hard on my heart. I look everywhere for a glimmer of positivity and see nothing. To be honest, the very slight chance that I'll get to meet you in person is about the only bright spot in my life. I have my doubts as to whether that will happen, though I'd love to meet you and yours, or at least you.

Now I'm typing out of my head, so I guess I should just end the comment. I'm not sure all of it will fit.

Unknown said...

You are a bright spot in the lives of quite a few people. I hope you find your Muse!

Space Eagle said...

Thanks, Katy.

Space Eagle said...

Forgive my temporary breakdown.