GOOoooOOOLLY, Uncle Al! Lookie what I found!
Double Naught Spy Naught Naught 6 ¾ here. Ah went DEEP undercover to see what was up with all a them ladies what kept messagin’ me so much that I couldn't hardly do NOTHIN’ on USA.life. I mean, I KNOW that I'm darn good lookin’ like my Uncle Al, but somethin’ jest didn't seem rite!
I decided ta follow them on Hangouts and give them mAh phone number like they asked, then I jest played along with whatever they said. Them purty ladies shore could talk sweet! Thar musta been one heck of a run of bad luck because every one a them women had somethin’ terrible happen in thar lives. Some of them had ta go stay with thar poor, sick granny ta take care of her, but all a them women wanted to come marry ME! If I'da let 'em, what woulda happened ta thar poor, sick granny? A whole bunch a them lost thar husbands in a car accident two years ago. 2017 must have been a really unlucky year for car accidents. Another couple a them lost thar whole families in a car accident. One a them was a Christian refugee in Syria who wanted to get out so she don't get blowed up, so I really wanted ta help her. I just don't have anywhare NEAR $2400.00. All a these women needed mAh financial help.
Most a these ladies had college degrees in Business Administration but, as luck would have it, none a them could get a job. I thought Obama done made thuh economy so good that there was so many jobs that it improved the sitiation all the way thru the Trump aministration. I don't know how all a them could be without a job. That's how it was, though. All a them women couldn't find a job. That's why they needed me ta do things like send them money ta come see me or send them money ta fix thar cell phones, or buy 'em a gift card so they could call me an’ talk ta me. One woman's phone camera wouldn't work lessen’ ah sent them a iTunes gift card. Imagine THAT! Them women shore had some mighty strange and mighty powerful problems. I'm over here just a scratchin’ mAh head awonderin’ what ta’ do!
I finally found this here beautiful woman.
She was purtier then a movie star so I wanted to be SURE ta type reel gud ta her. Boy howdy, it got steamier than granny's still after corn harvest! I finally got her to try to go on cam with me, but this is what happened!
Someone at iTunes must be makin’a fortune holdin’ these purty womens’ cameras hostage like that. It's a darn shame. How are them purty girls what hasn't got no job supposed to use thar cameras?
Well, anyways, I really wanted to see this purty lady on her webcam, so she musta gotten a iTunes card herself and she turned on her cam 'cause I talked so purty. And GOOoooOOOLLY, Uncle Al! Lookie what I found!
Well, I thought thar musta been somethin’wrong with her camera still because she shore didn't look like her picture, so I asked what was agoin’ on. As it turned out, it was these guys all along. They shore did fool me!
Well, tarNATion! That was a real head scratchin’moment. I had no idear that this purty white woman coulda been two black men in South Africa! I guess they must have some a that gender confusion over thar in South Africa or somethin’ fer them to have been so good at actin’ like a purty lady so good.
Well, I got to talkin’ to them an they turned out to be purty nice, except for them a foolin’ me an’ all. We done struck up a friendship. I got to see his friends an’ whar he lived an’ everything! The only thing I can't figger out is how they done fooled a guy like me with a sixth grade edjucation!
