Showing posts with label alien. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alien. Show all posts

Monday, March 16, 2015

The Woofie

The Woofie







Hello.  You, yes you.  I look like a stuffed dog animal toy, don't I?  Nothing could be further from the truth.




I can imagine that you are starting to feel that something very strange is going on here.  Indeed it is.




First, notice that you're listening to what you think is a stuffed animal speaking to you.  You're intrigued so you can't pull away.  Something else is going on as well though.  Maybe you're starting to sense that something is wrong?




Yes, by now you are.  You want to turn and walk away but you can't.  That's because I've homed in on the motor cortex of your brain and made you completely defenseless.  That's how I start.  Once I have your attention and have made you defenseless, there's really nothing you can do about it.  You can't run: You can't hide: You can't scream for help.  You are totally defenseless and you are totally in my power.




Now what will happen is I shall drain you of all of your knowledge except for that which you need to serve me.  You wouldn't think something so sinister of such a cute little stuffed toy, would you?  That is why we chose this form.




You see, we are a race from a distant planet outside of your solar system.  We call ourselves Woofies.  Our minds became so developed that we didn't have much use for a physical body.  Eventually, though, we realized that we needed corporal bodies to accomplish certain menial tasks... like reproduction. 




You will find now that our minds are slowly becoming linked.  We will start to share in each others' thoughts, feelings, and emotions in as much as I allow it.  As I said, you are totally helpless and there is nothing you can do about it.  Soon I will ask you to pick me up and carry me to my mate who, by now, inhabits a member of the opposite sex.  Yes, you are my sex slave.  You are my love slave.  The female of your species will carry the offspring made today to term and it will carry not only psychic information of my mate and I but some genetic information which we shall soon impart to you.  Once the child is born, he will start to grow in both body and intellect at a slightly higher rate than human children do.  He will receive another shipment of Wolfies and shall distribute them among other human children to be carried into their households where those childrens' parents will be taken over as easily as you were.  We may keep your bodies for our pleasure once in awhile or we may decide to create more offspring , forcing you to mate with the victim of our choice.  You are totally and completely unable to do anything about it.  Soon, we will be in control of your entire planet. 




Since there is nothing you can do about it anyway, I may as well tell you the last part.  Once we decide that you are no longer useful to us, you will be terminated.  There really is nothing you can do to stop us.  We may have you fight each other in games for our amusement.  We may cause you to walk off of a tall building or into a hot, live volcano.
If you had stopped listening to me as soon as I began speaking to you, you may have had a choice.  Now you have none.




It is time now, sex slave.  Pick me up and take me to my mate who is awaiting our arrival.  You may as well enjoy the sex anyway since YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Conversation Between Aliens

From a hostile poster who claims to be an alien: (Most hostile parts omitted)

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Cal..kinda has an aliby....what with so many different personalities arguing with each other!

but, keep in mind that the majority of people on the planet ....a really lot of people.....find killing to be particularly enlightening.

And..in case you're wondering....I do a bit of research before I dismiss it. I've studied Transcendental Meditation for over 35 years and have been a student of Thia Chi C'huen for about 30. But, my main practice is bigger than both of those put together. The practice of laughter,smiling and The celebration of each new day. I loose my way from time to time....no one knows that better than Emma..... but, I always find a way to pick myself back up and find my smile.

I'm telling ya....pick up my book and start practicing. You want to be prepared....because you never know when your destination is gonna sneak up behind you and bite you in the ass!
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My response:

Killing enlightening, you say?



You'll notice that our robots kill no one. They only destroy the weapons with which beings try to kill one another.



It's interesting that the both of us have studied meditation and the same form of martial art, yet have such differing outlooks on the world. Yin and Yang? Positive and Negative? Balance?

Well, it seems that things on this planet have been out of balance to the negaitve for quite some time now. Although we generally have a policy of non-interference, we have noticed that this planet has been infiltrated by hostiles from other worlds who are more like locusts than anything else that I can think to describe them. They simply travel from planet to planet enslaving the native inhabitants, devouring its natural resources, leave the planet uninhabitable, then leave to devour another planet. This will no longer be tolerated. Our ships from the league of planets shall soon arrive and remove all hostile aliens and teach the inhabitants to return to peaceful co-existance, teach them to use their resources more effectively and less wastefully, teach them to cooperate instead of compete, and teach them to share with one another rather than hoard. Instead of burning unclean fossil fuels which destroy all inhabitants, we shall teach them to harness the energy of the earth



and of the universe.







and the sun



The plans were already revealed, but were locked away as "Top Secret" because of the greed of the government officials. There is no need for power lines which were implemented just so that a greedy few could profit off the masses. Electrical energy will be transmitted through the air and the cost shall be greatly reduced. We shall also teach the inhabitants to harness the free energy of the universe and learn how to direct it to heal and help things grow. The technologies hidden by the greedy corporations and unsavory politicians



shall be released.



Even BillyBob could do it.

"





We shall teach them that they are beings of light and are not restrained by the limitations of time and space.





WHOOPS!!! How did Bill Gates get in here?

"The universe grows smaller every day, and the threat of aggression by any group, anywhere, can no longer be tolerated. There must be security for all, or no one is secure. Now, this does not mean giving up any freedom, except the freedom to act irresponsibly. Your ancestors knew this when they made laws to govern themselves and hired policemen to enforce them. We, of the other planets, have long accepted this principle. We have an organization for the mutual protection of all planets and for the complete elimination of aggression."

Our ships shall soon arrive.



Love, Hope, Peace, & Christ Is With Us All,

Cal-el

P.S. Klaatu barada nikto